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2018 is coming to a close. As usual, I’m getting reflective. I wish for you what I wish for myself in 2019: freedom and impact.

Freedom to do what you want with whom you want, and the ability to make the kind of impact in the world that you want.

I hope that next year, and every year after that, you invest in yourself. Money, time, resources, and everything else you can possibly invest.

You are the most important person in your life. If you’re not ok, then the people in your life who depend on you aren’t ok either.

Take your self-care up a notch

I can’t emphasize enough how important self-care is. I’m not saying this because it’s trendy and because everyone with a blog or a social media account now has the ability to pose as a health coach, life coach, and every other kind of coach.

I’m not saying this because it’s popular and because people eat up motivational content.

I’m saying this because I’m living it. I am living, breathing proof that self-care can change your life.

Self-care helped me put myself back together

I started meditating, running, and eating better in 2015 in the wake of a tough time in my life. I had the opportunity to start fresh and make my life however I wanted it.

The more I focused on meditation, nutrition, and exercise, the more I started noticing unhealthy patterns that I hadn’t noticed before. I started noticing when my anxiety arose. I started noticing coping mechanisms.

I started noticing low self-esteem. Not in the midst of actually feeling it, but just noticing it as an impartial observer.

Meditation changed everything for me. It really does change your brain and gives you the power to observe your patterns instead of simply being swept away by them.

Finally having a complete picture

The biggest thing that I noticed, as a whole, is that I felt very insecure in the world and doubted my ability to handle things.

This explains why I’ve lived a good portion of my life at half-mast. Shying away. Not putting myself out there. Wanting to please other people. Being afraid to speak. Being afraid to rock the boat.

Luckily for me, the self-care work that I’ve done over the last three years has helped me believe in myself. I got healthy. I lost weight. I changed careers. I built an incredible community around me. I have impacted hundreds of lives through my work and my journey.

I gave myself the strength and confidence to break through my decades-old self-beliefs that are simply not true.

My life is a blessing

My life now is filled with light and love. I love what I do. I love who I spend time with. I love spending time with myself. I love all of life’s possibilities.

I love being at the beginning of mid-life and having a second chance to try this thing called life again.

This is what self-care does. There is no magic bullet. There is no specific formula that works in 30 days to make everything change for you.

You just have to believe that you’re worth it.

The self-loving mindset

The only bit of coaching I can give you for this is that mindset is key. When you eat something healthy, it’s not because you’re “being good” as opposed to “being bad.” You’re eating something healthy because it’s a loving act. Giving your body the nourishment that it needs is a loving act. Just like indulging in your favorite dessert is a loving act.

Exercising in whatever way you see fit, whether it be at the gym or out on the trails. is a loving act.

Giving yourself time to rest is a loving act.

Engaging in your hobbies is a loving act.

Spending time with people you love is a loving act.

Give yourself love and care in 2019

If I didn’t consistently give myself love, over and over and over again, for the past three years, I don’t know where I’d be. I would probably be ok, but I’d still be stuck in my anxiety and depression. I would most likely still be self-sabotaging and generally not treating myself well.

Self-love and self-care allows me to be fully who I am and to be grateful every day. Not every day is perfect. I still have my problems and frailties just like everyone else. But I am able to get through them and come out on the other side, still healthy, still happy, still me.

Give yourself love and care in 2019. Make that your goal. You deserve it. We all do.

 

My career has taken a number of twists and turns. I originally went to college for radio broadcasting, but ultimately wasn’t successful in making it in the industry. I didn’t have the stomach for it.

My journey took me into the world of nonprofits, which is where I’ve been for the last 14 years. Nine of those years were spent at the Project Managenent Institute working for their Educational Foundation.

I started off managing their scholarship program and helping with other administrative tasks. Then I took over managing their website because there was a need for it and I knew HTML.

Then I started our social media program because my supervisor knew we needed to be on it even if he didn’t know why. It was 2009 and the social media boom was happening, so he was right.

Then I started our email marketing program because we wanted to take over operations of it from the parent company.

I became an accidental techie

Many nonprofit employees wind up becoming accidental techies. Thankfully, I had tech skills already, so the learning curve wasn’t nearly as great.

Once I stepped into this role, I participated on my first project team for a custom-built volunteer management system. Then I participated on my next project team: a rebrand and website redesign for the Educational Foundation.

I also went back to school and got my MBA in Marketing. During this time, I also obtained PMI’s Certified Associate in Project Management certification. Then I became a Certified ScrumMaster through the Scrum Alliance.

At this point, I was a sponge and wanted to learn as much as possible to take the leap into the next phase of my career.

Becoming a web developer

Once I began managing our website and honing my coding chops, I started doing it for fun at home. I learned PHP and JavaScript and learned how to use content management systems. I fell in love with WordPress and the community that supports it. I started attending and speaking at meetups and WordCamps, and I was building websites for myself, friends, and clients.

The Educational Foundation website was rebuilt on Sitecore CMS, which is built on .NET. This was out of my realm of expertise, and I didn’t really want to learn it.

I took the leap

Ultimately, I wanted to work as a full-time WordPress developer. So, I created a job for myself and went freelance full-time. I was a hired gun for different jobs for seven months until I was picked up full-time by the Jewish Federation, where I currently serve as their webmaster and solo WordPress developer.

The biggest lesson I’ve learned

I have now been a professional developer for over two years. The biggest lesson I’ve learned is this:

There is a big difference between being a freelancer and a professional developer

As a freelancer building a website for a client, they don’t care how the website is built. They just want it to work. I could build it using code. I could build it using a drag-and-drop page builder. I can use whatever tool I want for the job.

As a professional developer, I am expected to be proficient and up on all the latest programming technologies for the systems that I use. For me, that means PHP and JavaScript since that’s what WordPress is built on.

My favorite part of my job: managing projects and building cool things using various tools that are available to me as well as with the help of my teammates.

My least favorite part of my job: anything involving heavy development and diving into PHP and JavaScript in order to either make something work or figure out why it’s broken.

I wanted to be a developer, and it turns out that development is my least favorite part of the job.

Where I’m going next in my career

I did some research and found that there are two jobs that fit me to a t: web producer and digital project manager. They can be interchangeable depending on the company.

A digital project manager is….you guessed it….someone who manages digital projects. A web producer seems to be a digital project manager who gets their hands dirty and participates in the execution of the project. Whether it be contributing to development, copywriting, image optimization, or other related tasks. The producer produces while also managing schedules, budgets, and resources.

That’s the fun stuff. That’s where I want to be.

Thankfully, I get to do that in my current job in addition to the heavy development part of it. I also have extra help with some development projects through an agency that we use.

Onward and upward

I look forward to returning to the world of project management and deepening my knowledge of that and web production. Neither of my project management certifications are current since I let them lapse when I started pursuing a career as a developer. I can always get them again if I want.

I love this new path I’m taking, and aside from doing occasional freelance work, I can’t wait to shed the title of developer. And I never would’ve known that it isn’t for me if I hadn’t tried it.

In 2015, I thought I became the full version of me. I was wrong. In 2016, I learned that I just have to keep going. I was right.

2017 has taught me that I’m only just beginning.

Buckle up. You’re in for a hell of a ride!

My dream finally came true

I started the year essentially unemployed. I may have had one or two small freelance projects that I was working on, but nothing even close to paying the bills.

I quit my old job in June 2016 to be a full-time freelance WordPress web developer. In September 2016, I realized that I wasn’t going to be able to make the business work before I ran out of money. In November 2016, I was let go from my freelance assignment because they found someone else to hire for the full-time position.

The anxiety of that experience, financially and wondering if I had made the right decision with taking the leap, landed me in a hospital crisis center.

In December, I re-dedicated myself to becoming a better web developer.

In January, my dreams came true.

I was hired by the Jewish Federation of Greater Philadelphia to be their chief website manager and WordPress web developer.

A ten-year climb to change career paths

I obtained my undergraduate degree in communications with a focus in radio broadcasting. My radio career did not pan out, so I had to start over and find something else. Nonprofits and tech always appealed to me.

Starting in 2007, I worked for the Project Management Institute and grew my position into a nonprofit tech/digital marketing communications guy. I managed our website, transformed our scholarships program, and started our social media and email marketing programs.

I got my MBA in marketing and two project management certifications. I taught myself web development. I networked at conferences and meetups and on social media. I listened to podcasts.

I spent ten years grinding it out and going after my passion. I eventually quit my job so I could start working in WordPress full-time. I knew that’s what I wanted to do.

Jewish Federation picked me up after ten years of grinding it out and gave me my dream job.

No time to waste, get to work now

We were four months away from launching our brand new website, and they needed a technical project manager and content manager to work with the digital agency that was building our website to get this thing to launch.

So, that’s what I did.

I used every skill that I learned over the last ten years and successfully launched a brand new, beautiful website that will help us meet our mission.

It was stressful. It was anxiety-provoking. It was wonderful. It was the chance for me to fully do what I’ve always wanted to do.

It was me playing my game.

I’m the only one in the Jewish Federation that has a deep knowledge of web. They depend on me to make the right moves. They give me the autonomy and trust to do what I do.

And I deliver for them.

Since the launch of the website, I have continued to build on it, launched a new email newsletter program, and am building out some really cool things for new marketing campaigns.

I love what I do, and I no longer live for the weekend or dread Mondays.

Back on the dating scene

My divorce was finalized in November 2015.

I had to take some time to heal. Even though the divorce process was very simple since we had no kids and not much in the way of assets to divide up, it still rips you apart. It was extraordinarily painful.

So, I took some time to heal and be by myself and with myself. Yes, I patrolled the dating sites and reached out to women much earlier than I should have. Thankfully, I didn’t get any bites. I was an emotional basketcase that just needed time to heal.

In March of this year, I decided I was ready to give dating a try. So, I donated my wedding ring to my favorite nonprofit organization so it would no longer occupy my space. I wanted to make room for someone new.

I re-did my profile on Tinder, Bumble, and a few other apps and got myself back out there.

Over the last several months, I have been out with nine women. It’s been fun, interesting, and anxiety-provoking all at once. None of them have wound up sticking, but I sure have learned so much about myself and what I’m looking for in a long-term partner.

It has also given me a chance to experience the Philly bar and restaurant scene, and go to my first Eagles game, so that’s always a bonus!

I’ve been on a bit of a dating break since November, just to get my head back together and re-strategize on certain things. I am now employing the services of a Jewish matchmaker (Judaism is a preference, but not a deal-breaker). Using apps and swiping left and right is a good source for dates, but I’d also like to try using referrals.

If you know anyone who is single, local to Philly metro, and high-quality, feel free to let me know! In the meantime, I will continue to live and love life.

Running and community-building

My passion for running has increased ten-fold this year!

I ran the Philly Love Run half-marathon in March. I was on pace through mile 11 to finish in under two hours. At mile 11, I was overtaken by calf cramps due to lack of hydration. I had to sit on the side of West River Drive for ten minutes because I couldn’t walk.

I eventually got back up and ran/walked (mostly walked) to the finish line. Everyone congratulated me on finishing and told me what an accomplishment it was. I didn’t think I had any other option unless I was physically incapacitated.

What was I gonna do? Sit and complain that I had cramps and not finish???

I ran the Broad Street Run with my Back On My Feet folks and raised money for them. I regularly run with a team of guys who are residents at an addiction recovery home, and I helped two of them finish the ten-mile race in under two hours.

They were proud of themselves. They knew that if they could accomplish something as hard as a ten-mile run, then they can accomplish anything else in life.

Running really does build strength and confidence. It did in me, and I’m so glad that I could do that for them.

Over the summer, I decided to train for a fall half-marathon so that I could try to finish in under two hours. Family plans ultimately prevented me from running my scheduled half in September, but I suddenly ran the half distance on the roads during a training run and finished in under two hours.

I know many runners don’t think that it counts unless it happens during a race. Me personally, I don’t care. I was happy to finally do it, because I knew that I could. That suited me just fine. Then I did it again on the roads. I’ll eventually do it during a race.

I switched to the Philly half in November to raise money for Back On My Feet. However, I was feeling so good and running longer distances more frequently that I pulled the trigger and switched from the half to the full.

My first full marathon

I made this switch fairly last-minute, so I had only five weeks to train for my first full-marathon. Crazy? Sure! Doable? Thankfully, I was in good enough shape so that the answer to this question was a resounding YES!

My long runs during those five weeks of training were 16, 20, 21, 14, and five miles. The 16 miles were a fast, easy cruise around Central Park in New York City. The 20 miles were hard but made easier since I ran most of them with friends. The 21 miles were a slow easy cruise from my apartment to halfway around the Kelly Drive/West River Drive loop and back. The 14- and five-milers were nice runs to keep my legs fresh but not overworked.

Marathon day came, and at mile 18, those stupid lack-of-hydration cramps crept back up on me. I made sure to drink my butt off the day before and during the race, but apparently it wasn’t quite enough. So, I slowed down drastically, walked when I needed to, and stopped at every water and Gatorade stop to replenish.

I came in almost 20 minutes slower than my goal time and had a 4:49 finish time. However, I got to enjoy the experience more, finished on my feet, and had enough gas left in the tank to sprint through the finish line.

I not only ran races this year. I also continued building my community. I deepened relationships with my Back On My Feet folks. I continued posting my runs on Instagram. I started running with the Manayunk Beer Runners so that I could get to know folks in my new neighborhood.

I have found runners to be an awesome bunch. They take care of themselves and care about their physical and mental health. They’re positive people and don’t have too many complaints. They’re the kind of folks that support and encourage you and help you move forward.

Moving to a new neighborhood

In October, I moved out of my apartment in Aston into a new one in Roxborough. I had lived in my Aston apartment for 2.5 years. It was the apartment where I moved in with my ex-wife and then she moved out two weeks later when she left me.

I rebuilt and recovered in that apartment but could never fully make it my home. It served its purpose, and it was time to move on and make a new place into my home.

I love my new place in Roxborough. I’m back in the city. Many more people here than in my old neighborhood. Lots of different colors and socio-economic backgrounds. I love being in the mix.

I also have a large back patio where I can fit a grill, a smoker, and a hammock if I really wanted one.

The bus to work stops right in front of my place, so that’s incredibly convenient as well!

I had people over to my new place for a housewarming. It was the first time I ever hosted a party at my place. I loved every minute of it and will be doing it again many times in the future!

Getting to know myself on a deeper level so I could break free

After a particularly anxiety-provoking dating experience, I decided to further explore my communication disorder that I was born with and how it affected me in my life.

I also talked with my mother about it to gain further understanding and clarity about everything that happened.

I came to a full realization that everything in my life that happened, including all of the anxiety, depression, and muck that built up had to happen. There was no way to avoid it. When I couldn’t communicate with others when I was very young, when I couldn’t connect or get my needs met….it must’ve been terrifying. I don’t remember it being terrifying, but it had to have been.

Through the process of beginning to fully understand what happened, I realized that having anxiety was not my natural state. Having depression was not my natural state. Having all of these complications was not my natural state.

This all happened because of my experiences in my earliest years and how they shaped me.

My natural state is being happy. Being excited. Being passionate. Being grateful. Having a sense of humor and being able to dish it out as well as take it. Connecting with others and introducing good people to each other.

The day I said “ENOUGH”

On November 1 of this year, I made the decision to stop being afraid. Being afraid of being myself and connecting with others.

I no longer saw the point in being afraid and made the decision to stop. I had no idea how it was going to pan out or if it would even work.

Let me tell you how it has panned out so far.

I am now able to start conversations with people without sweating. Without having a racing heart rate. Without being self-conscious.

I just talk to people. That’s it. That’s all.

I have experienced one time at a happy hour where I felt over-stimulated. So, without judgment, I talked to someone that I was becoming friendly with about web development topics, said goodbye, and left early. I went to get ice cream at Franklin Fountain for the first time (holy deliciousness!) and then went home.

I had started several conversations with complete strangers at that happy hour and connected just for connection sake. No sweating. No racing heart. No thinking anything about myself as being negative or less than.

I have done that same thing with my Manayunk Beer Runners friends and Back On My Feet folks. I did that same thing at a happy hour with my Dinner Party people, which is a group for young people who have lost a loved one.

Having the ability to connect with people without anxiety is unfreakingbelievably remarkable. It is the culmination of all the work that I have done over the last two years.

This is just the beginning

Life begins at 37.

I talked about 2015 being the year I became the full version of me. Nope, wrong!

I talked about how running helped me reach my mountaintop of mental health. Nope, wrong again.

I have since climbed to even higher heights. I realize now that I will continue to keep climbing. And changing. And evolving. And learning.

I will stop when I die.

Plans for 2018

My only plan for 2018 is to enjoy the hell out of my life.

I’m on an excellent trajectory career-wise. I will continue to make an impact at the Jewish Federation and will help us elevate our digital marketing game so that we can help more people connect to their Jewishness, feed the hungry, provide housing for those who need it, and everything else we do.

I will continue to run and can’t wait to do my next marathon. I’d love to run NYC if the opportunity presented itself!

I don’t have any specific goals for 2018 except to enjoy myself. I am fully playing my game. I am living a life of service and incredible fun. I am me to the fullest right now, until the next fullest version comes to be.

I am me. Andy Stitt. Without all the junk that the years built up. And I am in love with my life and everyone in it.

Eternally grateful.

Thank you for all of your support, encouragement, companionship, and friendship.

I plan on writing a guide at some point that outlines the main steps that I took to get to where I’m at right now.

If you’re happy with where you’re at, then I have no advice for you. If you are where I used to be, struggling and dissatisfied with the knowledge that something better is out there for you but not being sure how to get there….I can help you with that.

I just need to get it out of my head and onto paper in a way that’s helpful.

The self-help gurus have written extensively about it. Information on it is readily available. It’s just that there’s so much information out there, some of it better than others, and it can get overwhelming.

Once I’m ready to write my guide, I hope to distill it into components that are useful, actionable, and relatable.

Once you start reading it, just know that the odds are against you of making a huge change. Humans are wired to maintain homeostasis. We are not wired to naturally change. It’s hard as hell.

Chances are that you won’t. However, if you really want to, you do have the ability to do so. It is possible. On a biological level, I’m the same as you. I’m not special.

If I can do it, you can too.

I have had the good fortune of working for the Jewish Federation of Greater Philadelphia for the past seven months.

When I came on board, we had finished rebranding the organization several months before. It’s a new look for a new generation of people we are reaching. In order to continue our good work well into the future, we have to be relevant to them.

J2 Design did a fantastic job of giving us a new look as well as bringing out our substance and what makes us….well….us!

The new look and feel necessitated a new website. J2 built it, and I was brought on to serve as a technical project manager and content manager to help get the project to launch. Now, I maintain it and build on it.

Built on WordPress

The Jewish Federation website is built on WordPress. Because WordPress is meant to be easily built on, we used the following plugins to add functionality (not the whole list of plugins; just the good stuff):

• The Events Calendar by Modern Tribe for the main calendar
• Ultimate Member for our user login functionality
• Gravity Forms for e-commerce form functionality and Formidable Forms for all other form functionality; each has its own strengths
• Advanced Custom Fields for all content; no hard-coding needed for non-technical people
• Yoast SEO for search engine optimization

We also used lots of custom post types for different kinds of posts around the website.

The theme is completely custom built and does not make use of a commercial theme. It was brilliantly designed and developed.

For hosting, we use WP Engine. Their managed WordPress hosting is excellent, and their customer service is solid.

The goal of the website

The goal, as I see it, is to bring people in to join us on our journey. We are a welcoming bunch and love being involved in, and facilitating, Jewish life in Greater Philadelphia. We celebrate giving, inclusion, and tradition.

If you’d like to join us, come check it out.