For anything related to your overall health, the outputs that you want need inputs in order to happen.
To feel good overall and have vitality (the outputs), your genes expect certain things from you (the inputs). At minimum, they expect nutrition, movement, sleep, and stress management.
In order for you to manage your stress well, you need to be taught how to manage your stress well.
If you want to be able to regulate your emotions and get back into a state of balance after a stressful situation, you need to be taught how to do that by your primary caregivers.
If your primary caregivers can’t model self-regulation or give you co-regulation, then you have no way of knowing how to use your natural abilities to regulate your nervous system. This is when we turn to other coping mechanisms that don’t really bring our nervous systems back into full balance but feel good and comforting in the moment.
Regarding inputs and outputs: we cannot do what we weren’t taught. We don’t have what we were never given.
Yet we are expected to be able to function in society and to just do what it is perceived that other people can do. If we can’t do it, then we are blamed for it.
“She can’t get her act together.”
“I don’t know what’s wrong with them.”
All of us without exception need inputs in order for the desired outputs to come to fruition. If something is off, then there’s always a reason for it. It isn’t that a person has a natural deficiency that can’t be cured. They just never got the required inputs for their desired outputs.
I feel a million times better at age 40 than I did at age 30. I used to be 50 pounds heavier, a pack a day smoker, a heavy drinker on the weekends, and I was deathly afraid of the world, completely insecure, and had no sense of self-worth. Over the last six years, I have given myself the inputs needed to create the outputs of reversing all of those circumstances. I received help from others in some of those endeavors, but I was the main conductor of the entire orchestra.
The good news is: you need inputs in order to have desired outputs, so it’s not your fault if you didn’t get the inputs that you needed.
The better news is: as humans, we have an incredible capacity to heal and transform, so it is never too late to start getting yourself the inputs that you need for the desired outputs.
Good physical, mental, and spiritual health are never too late.