Boy, 2020 sure has been an adventure so far.
On January 1, I went to the hospital because my PTSD symptoms got out of control. I wanted them to give me the strongest drugs possible.
Instead, they discharged me back into the care of my therapist because I was doing everything right and handling everything the way a healthy person would.
Two days later, I went on a job interview and got an offer the same day for my current position: long-term contract web developer at the Delaware Department of State.
Less than a month later, I quit drinking.
Less than a month after that, I moved in with my fiancee.
Now, we’re in New Orleans as she recovers from major surgery.
Oh yeah, and we’re in the middle of a pandemic.
2020 sure has been interesting. But it has shown me that my healing has gotten to a point where my long stifled down emotions and feelings have felt safe enough to come to the surface. They attacked me on New Year’s Eve and remained unrelenting through New Year’s Day.
They haven’t completely gone away yet, but they’ve gotten much better. I recognize them for what they are.
I let my emotions come up. I let them flow through me. I identify the uncomfortable feelings and do my best to not let them overwhelm me. That doesn’t always happen, but it gets easier with time.
New website format
This website has been primarily about my technology, marketing, and web development pursuits. Those have been my passions for a long time.
However, the journey of incredible health transformation is my passion now. Meditation, nutrition, exercise, community, spiritual practices, and self-love are my passions.
I never thought I could ever feel this good. I am so far away from the reality that I used to know. Far away from everything that feels normal.
However, it feels really nice to finally not feel defective and abnormal.
My experiences are completely normal, and yours are too. I hope to use this new website format and my writings to express myself as I am now and to inspire you, motivate you, and help you on your journey.
Our world feels crazy right now. There’s lots of uncertainty with climate change, coronavirus, political upheaval, and the global economy. We are evolving and experiencing shifts. We’ll do it together, and through our experiences, I hope we help each other light the way.