My new year is off to an extremely strong start. I am placing much more of a focus on taking care of myself and my unique needs. It is paying off quite nicely, especially since the United States is on fire at the moment.
The two keys to my success are:
1. My goals are action-based, not outcome-based
Most people put “losing weight” as one of their goals for the year, but that’s an outcome that’s not within your control. My goals are action-based, including continuing to repair my nervous system, build my relationship with my wife and others, focus on strength training, etc.
I am taking the actions that I want to take that I think will put me in the place where I want to be now and in the future.
2. I have no deadlines
I don’t have a set of marks that I try to hit for each day. I’m not trying to drink eight glasses of water, get in an hour of exercise, ten minutes of meditation, half an hour of reading, completing five tasks at work, etc. etc. etc.
I no longer think that I’m not doing enough. Whatever I can get done in the available time span is good enough for me. And that is being reinforced by my managers at work.
The fact that I’m not giving myself deadlines and trying to always be productive and accomplish things means that I am sufficiently taking action towards my number one goal:
Continue to repair my nervous system.
My nervous system is screwed up because of childhood trauma, which adversely affected my development. I have always thought that the world was a scary place and that I was not enough.
Pulling back on always being goal-oriented with absolutely everything is giving my nervous system the message that I am enough.
Quite frankly, it makes my life much easier to live. And I can be much more resilient in the face of stress.
Like the stress of the pandemic, failing economy, and being on the brink of civil war. Yeah, I need to muster all of the faculties that I possibly can!